Dis Raps For Hire Episode 8: Daniel



"Daniel" is the eighth installment in the Dis Raps For Hire series. The comment that inspired the video comes from YouTube user mville23113, against his boss, Daniel.

Comment
"HELP EPICLLOYD! I work at iHop and my boss is crazy! He'll tell me to do 3 Things and when I get started he yells at me in front of my customers that I haven't finished the other 2 tasks right away. I lose tips because people think I'm a suckish waiter when he yells. He's just pissed that he has 4 dui's and is On a 5000 dollar bail but takes his frustration out on me. His name is Daniel And he barely even speaks English, IT'S JUST FREAKING PANCAKES I WANNA QUIT BY SENDING HIM A DISS RAPS VIDEO." - mville23113

Intro:
Look, someone asked for help writing a resignation letter. I'm not sure if it's the best idea given the current economy, but you know, whatever. Ahem.

Verse 1:
Dear Daniel: Hi. My name's mville.

I sling hot cakes and runny eggs at IHOP to pay bills,

But I'm disgusted! I wrote this for justice,

For suffering lost tips, and being made to look suckish!

First things first: I quit! You can take this job and shove it up your ass!

I don't give a shit if you're pissed! You yell at me again and some plates is gonna get smashed!

It's obvious you drink too much,

But don't take your frustrations out on us!

You suck, boss! And your whole pancake house sees.

Scream at me in front of customers, I'mma diss you internationally!

We got an idiot restaurant manager here who can't figure

That cutting other people down doesn't make 'em no bigger!

You're just pissed that you're on bail and your little feelings got hurt,

'Cause it was five grand to spring you, and that's like a year's worth of work.

You dumb, broke, stupid ass…

This is not hip-hop; this is ass whip-hop!

I buck wild, flip out like a gymnastics bus!

Moosh you up 'til you're soft like a smoothie,

Then drizzle you atop my Rootie Tootie Fresh and Fruity!

You're getting waxed, Daniel-San! You catching my point?

You couldn't handle your commute, let alone a breakfast joint!

Man, four DUI's? How many times does it take?

Stay off the road, you drunk asshole! Take the train!

Awwww! Fuck this! Suck a dick, you dumb bitch!

I'm done serving breakfast. I'm moving up to a lunch shift!

I'm out! Sincerely, mville. Oh, you barely speak English?

Maybe this is clearer: How's your middle finglish?!

Interlude:
So give that to your boss. You're definitely not gonna have a job afterwards, but let me just say…

Verse 2:
Yo ville, I'm on your back! I hope my quit rap helps!

Now let me dis this little power trippin' dick myself!

I'm EpicLLOYD, Danny boy! Call me the short stack!

I want my hand to meet your mouth 'cause they both talk smack!

Your communication skills are horrible!

I couldn't figure out what three things you were talking about, and I'm on Mission IMPROVable! (Look it up!)

Your whole life is in the weeds!

In a four top world with brains only meant for parties of three,

And now you're the one who's left looking suckish,

So crawl your ass back to your tiny rat nest of an office!

I 86 a crazy boss in Dis Raps eight

For talking shit on the shift when it's just freaking pancakes!